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5:03pm on Wednesday, 4th November, 2009:



Over the past few years, there's been a trend among young men (and old men who want to think they're young) of having toroidal earrings that stretch the earlobe so you can see through the hole in the middle. Some of them have holes big enough to put a pencil through, which seems a bit dangerous if you ask me — catch them on something and the whole lobe could snap.

Today in Colchester, I saw a guy with a lobe stretched so much you could put the cardboard tube from the inside of a toilet roll through it. This is the kind of gauge at which the weight of the earring itself looks as if it could be responsible for further stretching, so it'll be down to his waist by the time he's 90.

Oh well, I always figured that the point of earrings was to draw attention to the ears and away from the rest of the face, and in his case that seems to have worked because I don't know what the rest of him looked like. My younger daughter missed the earrings, though, and did see the face. Her report: didn't he know Hallowe'en was last week?

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Copyright © 2009 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).