The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.
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8:23am on Saturday, 11th July, 2026:
Anecdote
As I reversed out of my drive yesterday, I hit a stationary vehicle (a van). There was no-one in it at the time.
I'd switched the radio on, but it wasn't making a sound — and neither was the reverse proximity sensor. The camera that shows what's behind when I'm reversing wasn't on, either, although I'd only glanced at it anyway; I was looking in my mirrors, because there was a car coming up the road.
Anyway, after having struck the van, I returned to the house to assess the damage. It wasn't all that bad on either vehicle: a couple of scrapes on the corner for me and a dent on the wing for them.
As my handwriting is so bad, I wrote a note saying I'd hit the van and invited the driver to knock on our door to discuss the matter. I also said I was sorry.
Then, I went to buy some chips, which is what I was reversing out to do in the first place.
When I returned, the vehicle's owner was talking to my wife. He said not to worry about the damage, as his vehicle was always being hit down his road. He was only parked outside our house to do some plumbing work nearby. He didn't want to claim on insurance, or to accept any money for repairs; for him, it was just one of those things that happens to his vans. He said he was impressed by my honesty, because I didn't have to own up to having hit his van at all, he'd never have known.
I tried to give him some money anyway, but he wouldn't have it. We left on very good terms.
It''s good to know that there are still some really nice people in the world.
I didn't even get his name. If I had, I would have called him next time I needed a plumber, for sure!
8:09am on Friday, 10th July, 2026:
Comment
I note that the Bayeux Tapestry has arrived in London.
I wonder if the people who have been saying it's too fragile to move will still be making that point when the time comes for its return to Bayeux.
8:24am on Thursday, 9th July, 2026:
Anecdote
At the base of the exterior wall of Dedham church are painted small silhouettes of figures that look like the top half of the sign for a male public lavatory.
I was going to make some remark about how they added one each time they shot a non-believer, but it turns out they're there in remembrance of all the Dedham soldiers who died in World War I.
They should put up a sign or something, so random people parked outside don't make wildly inaccurate speculations.
7:49am on Wednesday, 8th July, 2026:
Weird
When I was marking my students' work, I kept a list of some of the bizarre things they (or ChatGPT) wrote in their assignments and exams. I only show them to the world when the students' tenure at Essex University has come to an end. They're anonymised, so I don't know if any of the students have to resit a year, so I wait a year just in case.
I have two sets left. The one for students, the bulk of whom graduated this year, I shall keep until next year. Here are the out-takes for the students who finished last year.
--------
Succumbing to theses temptations carries dire consequences
This component has the power to build suspense and engorges players to interact
The face of humanity hangs in the balance
Just starting out on your carer, your arsenal and skills are limited
He is faced with a number of ethnical decisions
Alfred finishes his evil plot to plunge the world into nuclear winter by dating nuclear bombs.
In the yeah 2102, he reigned supreme as the criminal Mastermind of Cynic City
by doing so, he is proving his innocents in a framed murder
Cars do not move without a someone.
One of his bullets fits my arm as I hide behind the tractor
Players may choose from three very unique races: orcs, elves, or humans.
He was born with exceptional skills in digital forensics and ethical hacking
The player's main objective is to whip out the entire group.
Players navigate through a society on the brick of collapse, where danger lurks around every cornea.
They were going to have to learn to survive in the harsh outlook of Australia.
he embraced a lifestyle cantered around holistic wellness
A thought bouble above my head shows a milkshake that my character wants.
As im walking on the wooden flooring of the hallway it is making creeking noises.
I find a chest of draws with a pair of fluffy socks in it
Some games don't find ways to allow users who unfortunately suffer from Colour Blindness and Being Deaf.
They need to test that the vehicle can move and break.
Attention is good wether good or bad.
the people that were behind him began to look at him with vengeful and glutinous eyes
each turn throughout the mines lead to forgotten passages that were long used.
they are individuals who suffer from Xenophobia which is people who fear strangers that they don't know.
His father is cryptid and doesn't spend much time with his son, causing issues with their relationship.
The doctor gives him a neckless that will help him activate the portal back once he has found the cure for the illness
in an instance he is transferred too somewhere unknown
He loses his way in the underground ladyrinth
he presents her with an enchanted compass that reacts to the map's location and teaches her basic swordplay.
WHERE THE HEAL IS THE POTION?!
Some major events will appear on the screen, while some smaller events will appear on the screen.
8:28am on Tuesday, 7th July, 2026:
Anecdote
The latest pothole to appear in our village is 50cm across and 50cm deep. This qualifies it as a sinkhole.
Unlike their protocol for regular potholes, the local highways authority erects barriers around sinkholes.
I expect they'll remain until the hole heals naturally.
8:24am on Monday, 6th July, 2026:
Anecdote
I didn't watch the England match last night, but I want to watch it. I also don't want to know the score before I watch it.
This is going to be a challenge.
I didn't stay up to watch the match because we're lookimg after our grandson today. I can't watch it while he's here, because my wife believes that the slightest glimpse of a moving image on a screen will scar him for life. I watched the first ten minutes of the game before we went to pick up our grandson, but I won't be able to watch the remaining 80 (or possibly 110) until maybe 7pm.
I'll have to avoid all news, so even if Presidents Trump and Putin both dropped dead at the same time, I wouldn't know. I managed to avoid hearing any discussion of the result when I stopped to buy some milk, but I'm steeling myself for when I upload this post to Facebook.
I could maybe watch a few minutes if my wife were to take out grandson out in the pushchair somewhere, but she wants to watch the match, too. Worse, she knows the result. All she's told me is "there's drama".
It's going to be a long day.
[Edit]
My wife managed to get our grandson to sleep for 80 minutes, and kept the TV on for injury time.
Ye gods! That was epic. I'm glad I didn't stay up to watch it, or I'd have never got to sleep afterwards.
9:01am on Sunday, 5th July, 2026:
Anecdote
My wife leaves windows open in hot weather, to support her crusade against air-conditioning.
I'm used to flies coming in and heading straight for where I'm sitting on my computer, but yesterday some kind of pigeon or dove flew in through the bathroom window. Fortunately for me, it got trapped behind the Venetian blind, so we didn't have to capture it to return it to the wild, we just had to open the window more.
No pictures, because my wife and daughter (who discovered it) wanted it out immediately. They didn't even ask me to do it, they were that keen on having it gone.
It must have been there for some time, because we kept hearing this cooing and didn't know what bird was making it. It wasn't the usual racket that pigeons make, but it sounded like one. Only after we found it did we realise it was probably a distress call.
I've replaced my toothbrush and the bar of soap that were in open containers on the windowsill. I don't want to brush my teeth or wash my face with something a pigeon has used.
8:57am on Saturday, 4th July, 2026:
Weird
When you put them near each other, it's clear these Hornsea Pottery squirrels are cast from the same mould.
Somewhat ironically, squirrels didn't live in Hornsea or the rest of Holderness until about thirty years after these ornaments were made, and there still are only a few pockets of them. The first live squirrel I saw was in York.
In Colchester, they live in our garden and feast on walnuts.
8:26am on Friday, 3rd July, 2026:
Anecdote
This café-made French fancy has about eight times the volume of the Mr Kipling ones you get in the shop.
Wife: Those French fancies look good, but they're a bit big. Do you want to share one?
Me: No, I want a whole one all to myself.
It was delicious.
8:59am on Thursday, 2nd July, 2026:
Anecdote
Well, I watched the England game yesterday despite knowing the half-time score.
My younger daughter arrived during the break.
Me: Do you know the score?
Daughter: Yes, but you said you were recording it and didn't want to know.
Me: Have there been any goals?
Daughter: (hesitantly) ANY goals?
Me: Sigh. So DR Congo got one. I wanted to know because if there'd been no goals then we could have skipped the first half.
Daughter: (helpfully) There was one goal.
Me: OK. So we're one-nil down at half time.
Daughter: Oh well, you can skip it after the first five minutes, anyway.
I should have known better. This is, after all, the woman who, when asked at her baby's gender-reveal party if there was anything inside the balloon she was about to burst, replied "only blue paper".
I didn't skip the first half, but watched the whole match. Only the hydration and half-time breaks were skipped. England really do like to put their fans through the wringer.
Next time, I'll ask her if it's goalless at half-time. Unless the answer is "yes", it'll probably still be a risk, though.
8:16am on Wednesday, 1st July, 2026:
Anecdote
England are playing DR Congo in the World Cup this evening. The kick-off is at 5pm.
We're looking after our grandson until 6pm. My wife won't let him see a TV, computer or mobile phone screen, because she has reasons. Therefore, we're going to have to record the match and watch it as-live at least an hour behind time.
I'm hoping to avoid any spoilers, but if England score then we'll know it from the noise that will erupt from the pub down the road.
When did Congo get a PhD?
8:39am on Tuesday, 30th June, 2026:
Weird
Oh no! Following Germany's defeat on penalties in the world cup, their veteran goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer, has retired from international football.
This means that my attempts to persuade my wife that he looks like a 1990s-era Tom Hanks have also ended in failure.
8:15am on Monday, 29th June, 2026:
Weird
Our local shop sells pastries baked on the premises. Most of these are savoury ones nobody wants, but some are sweet and sell out fast.
Recently, they introduced a new flavour, mango. There are some seeds involved, too, probably passion fruit.
This one looks cheerful.
I should have removed the seed at the top left so the face was clearer, but it's best to be honest about these things.
9:25am on Sunday, 28th June, 2026:
Weird
Seen for sale in Smyth's:
I like the way they say it's a replica, in case anyone thought there was an actual football stadium in that box.
7:46am on Saturday, 27th June, 2026:
Weird
Flying Tiger sells colouring books.
They seem to be intended for use in gentlemen's lavatories.
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Copyright © 2026 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).