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5:11pm on Saturday, 19th September, 2009:

Another F


I got another F seat from Iraklion to Athens, but this time, fortunately, it existed. As a consequence, I discovered something that may be useful in future.

There was a family on the flight, from Holland. Two adults, two regular children and one 2-year-old spawn of Satan. This latter child screamed (and I mean screamed) the whole time. He was too young for his own seat, so he had to sit on his mother's lap. The family was allocated seats B to E, which meant that either I or the guy in seat A was going to be subjected to an hour of torment. The mother wanted to sit next to me, but the flight attendant told her to use the other side. When, later during the flight, the father asked if he could hold the child for a while, the flight attendant said no. Apparently, on the left side of the aircraft (looking from the front) there are 3 oxygen masks in the roof; on the right side, there are 4. Because of this, all children possessed by demons are on the right side of the plane. I was therefore safe.

The kid who did sit next to me kept elbowing me and brushing cake crumbs off his tray onto my legs, but this was as nothing compared to what the guy in seat A had to tolerate (including having a full cup of orange juice spilled on him — the flight attendant gave him an unopened packet of 50 paper serviettes to dry himself off; meanwhile, the mother was asking for some more juice for her darling toddler).

The flight from Athens to Geneva via Nice was relatively pleasant by comparison, even if the guy sitting next to me did have the dimensions and demeanour of a yeti. I've been told that the flight I'm waiting for at the moment is not busy, and it's possible I could have a row of 3 seats all to myself. Fingers crossed...

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Copyright © 2009 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).