The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.
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10:38am on Sunday, 10th April, 2011:
Another Week in QBlogland
I've mentioned before that I don't put everything I could put in QBlog, mainly out of laziness and a dim suspicion that if I did then even my current low standards of what's worth blogging could yet descend further.
Still, if I group them together, there's strength in numbers, right? Here are four things that didn't make it to QBlog during the week but are doing so today:
- Every so often over the past couple of weeks, we've been finding these large, green flies in the house. We had no idea where they were coming from. Then, I had to get something out of the attic and a dozen of them fell dead from the access trapdoor. I couldn't find any more up there; I think the spiders must have got them.
- I was on the train back from London, sitting in the aisle seat of a bank of three with no-one to the side. On the bank of three seats facing me,
there was a woman sitting next to the window, like a knight's move in chess away from me. Just as the train left Liverpool Street, an enormous couple entered the carriage and chose our banks of seats to sit on. The man sat next to the window, forcing the woman opposite him (who had legs as skinny as scaffolding poles) to scrunch up. She was lucky compared to me: the woman who sat opposite me occupied both the aisle and most of the middle seat, and her right knee touched the middle seat to my left. Her left knee would have touched the seat to my right if there had been a seat to my right. I was pinned in. Fortunately, they got off at Romford. Unfortunately, another vast passenger got on, a man who sat down opposite me and subjected me to similar (but not quite as bad, as he wasn't quite as large) treatment until he got off at Chelmsford.
- Also on the train from London, also at Chelmsford, this bloke got on carrying a pitbull. He was tall, lean, shaven-haired, tattooed — it was as if he'd been to the Cliché School for Pitbull Owners. He set the dog down in the seat behind the skinny woman a knight's move from me, and started beating it and ordering it to sit still. He then sat in the middle seat himself, and started hugging the dog. The people sitting opposite him were understandably a little nervous. About ten minutes later, he suddenly jumped to his feet and subjected the woman opposite and to the right of him to a torrent of abuse that used every major swearword in the English language at least four times each. The gist of it seemed to be that he felt she disapproved of dogs. He picked his dog up under his arm, as if it were a sports bag that the handles had come off of, and stormed off into the next carriage.
Only chivalry seems to have stopped him from assaulting the woman physically as well as verbally; I bet if a man had been looking at his dog funny, he would have thumped him.
- I was eating lunch at Dr Chippy's, and there was this other customer who had one ear flat against the side of his head and the other one sticking out at right angles, like a chimp's. I wouldn't have noticed, except one of the waitresses was making one-flat-ear-one-chimp-ear signals to the other one and then nodding in the man's direction.
Just another week in QBlogland...
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