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12:35pm on Saturday, 2nd June, 2007:

Winning is Easy


This week's Essex County Standard has one of its should-be-famous competitions advertised on the front page:

A pink plant! That's not just any coloured plant, it's a pink one! It's not just any pink thing, it's a pink plant! How do I win it?

I turned to page 22 and found that although there was a competition there, it wasn't for a pink plant. The pink plant was a free reader offer: you just had to go to the Little Bentley Hall Waterways and Gardens Show 2007 and hand in the coupon cut from the newspaper. There's more detail about what you get — it's a "scented pink plant" — but you don't actually get to win it, they just give you it. Where's the fun in that?

Ah, but remember that there is a competition on page 22! It's a "Little Bentley Virgin Balloon Competition". Closer inspection reveals that it has little connection with Little Bentley's virgin; it's to do with free hot-air balloon flights. But how do you win them?

This is a bit trickier. Here's the competition in full (I've marked the bits you should read):

Give it a few years and we'll be seeing this kind of question in AS levels...

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Copyright © 2007 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).