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11:30am on Wednesday, 17th May, 2023:



I seem to have lost my driving licence recently. I don't know when exactly it went missing as I only noticed yesterday when I had to produce it to pick up my mother's ashes from the funeral parlour (yes, the same day my dad died — it's like there's a production line).

Anyway, to get a replacement licence I had to go via the DVLA web site. It was nice and easy (albeit for a fee of £20) and they'll take the photograph from my passport (I've had a driving licence for so long that it was still made of paper). The web site wanted to know why I needed a new licence, so I chose the button that indicated I'd lost it. After filling in the rest of the form and checking the details ("Reason for replacement: I have lost my licence.") it told me that the details would be processed and I'd receive my replacement within two weeks. It then told me to cut my old licence in two and return it to the DVLA.

How can I cut it in two when I've lost it? Do you know where it is, DVLA, and you're not telling me? You'll make it reappear once its replacement arrives?

I keep a paper face mask in the same pocket as I do my driving licence, because these days you never know when you're suddenly going to be required to wear one. I reckon I lost my licence when I last took out the mask.

These ripple effects from COVID-19 are more insidious than I was expecting them to be.

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