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10:45am on Monday, 4th October, 2010:

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What do the following have in common: brain implants, UFOs, women drivers, evolution, faster-than-light travel, the rise of China, Berlin, vampires, the Dorchest er Hotel, speeding tickets, drug users, mobile phone use, the Ryder Cup?

Well, they're all topics that my taxi driver talked about for at least 10 minutes in the 2½-hour journey to Heathrow this morning. All of it was discussed with supreme confidence from a position of towering ignorance.

The rest of the time, he spoke about driving conditions and what his stream-of-consciousness current reading of them was. His 35 years' experience of driving a cab have given him special insights into how to weave through traffic safely. Hmm, well my 45 years' experience of passengerhood have given me special insight into how driving with your hands off the wheel while looking over your shoulder at someone in the seat behind is dangerous.

We'd only have taken 2 hours if we'd gone the sane way (A12, M25) than the way he took (A120, M11, M25), which involved a 30-minute delay trying to get through Braintree that I warned him would happen but he didn't seem to hear.

Hopefully, I'll be able to take a train when I get back on Sunday, or a bus, or go on foot...

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Copyright © 2010 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).