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5:31pm on Saturday, 2nd October, 2010:

Can't Say the Name Rings a Bell...


Ah, hate mail. Normally it's from MMO players, but not this one that arrived today. Here it is in its entirety:

Hey Richard,

Following is an excerpt from wikipedia about your profile:
"Recently he has returned to the university as a part-time professor and principal teaching fellow in the Department of Computing and Electronic Systems, supervising courses on computer game design as part of the department's degree course on computer game development."

After reading your excerpt, my question is: "Why the hell are you even bothered in games designing?" I mean, isn't all of this just a waste of hard working British tax payers money? You mean to say that in the last 30 years since you left UOE, this is ALL you've been able accomplish in your life? I mean, what the F*** is all this? Do you have any intellectual explaination for indulging yourself in designing in these stupid senseless children games for the last 30 years? And now of all, you are teaching game design at UOE? I mean WTF!! Excuse me for my sudden outburst of English language, but I feel that this all BS! You wasted 7 years - 3 as undergrade + 4 as grad student - at UOE reading computer science under Brooker, Doran, Brady, Spachek, Lyons, et. al. - the best minds at Essex - only to end up designing stupid games for the last 30 years!! I mean after all that ballyhoo at UOE during the undergrad years and glorifying yourself writing ALEPH interpreter in BCPL in your final year project and being president of computer group - all of this didn't get you anywhere in this world.

I thought you would have ended up somewhere in Santa Clara - the IT capital - at Intel or Microsoft or Mattel or Apple or Sun Microsystems as architect designer, but instead you are still rotting somewhere in Essex working on some stupid useless game called MUD - which is an acronym for - wtf - Mad As Hell. so far I haven't read one single white paper in ANY computer journals about your works on computer games. May be I've been reading the wrong magazines - you works are probably published in porno journals.

You wrote in your blog that Ulin Smith was your BEST friend at UOE. Isn't this the same fellow who has been working at some Police station in England for the last 30 years? I mean after spending 3 years at Essex reading computer science he could only muster himself in landing a job at a COP shop? What a bunch of fucking ballonie.

I can recall you as the most RACIST person there ever was at UOE. Even more so than the skin heads from national front party who wandered around terrorizing foreign students in the city of Colchester when we use to go shopping on weekends. Inspite of pumping 100,000 pounds foreign currency into Britain from overseas, you English people still despized foreigners.You English are a bunch of mentally sick people. You English lot think that you are some kind of superior race (isn't that what Hitler use to say about German people?) over other races on this Earth. It's only a matter of time before someone - it's not going to be me - kicks your English ass.

It's from aly aly [alyaly1@yahoo.com]. A quick trip to Google reveals this to be one Saif Aly.

Nope, can't say the name rings a bell.

This is actually the third time he's emailed me something like this. The first time was 26th October, 2001. Yes, I do keep emails sent to me for that long. Here's what he said back then:

After all the hoopla and mud-slinging in the late '1970s at UOE, it's a REAL SHAME, tragegy and a travesty that after all those years at UOE obtaining the so called "educational" invigoration, all you have achieved in the last 24 years of your life, thus far, is to come up with a bunch of some stupid, dumb, useless computer games, which I viewed on your website and couldn't make any sense out of it! Is this what 27 years of British education led you to accomplish?

Is this what the British tax payers got in return for their years of hard work and investment of tens of thousands of British Pounds in people like you and putting them through colleges and universities, and in return all people like you can accomplish is come up with some pussy shit games, excuse my usage of the English language here, but people like you really deserve and don't leave me with much option but to spell out our outrage in writing after witnessing a waste of country's valueable resources, resources that could have been better used in feeding the needy and starving people of this world! Shame on you British lot! You lot really are a sick bunch!

If I have to really spell it out for you in writing, then people like you really make me sick with utter disgust and revulsion, and wanting to throw up in your face, that inspite of all that boasting and bravado in college of your so-called "intellect", that all your education at UOE only enabled you to accomplish nothing more what high school level kids in US and Canada are capable of achieving during their schooling years!!

If the last two decades is any indication and harbinger of your accomplishments and level of intelligence, then my suggestion is that its best for you retire at a mental age of 45!

I have to tell you here that I'll will forthwith send a copy of this email to Jim Doran, Tony Brooker, David Lyons, David McCallum, John Turner at UOE and Dr. Mike Brady at Oxford University and Dr. Pat Hayes at Rochester in New York, indicating to them how fruitless their efforts were during the late '70s in educating idiots like you!

As a side note: I want to end this email by telling you and your fellow Englishmen that you lot have always thought and considered yourselves as some kind superior RACE (does any of this sound familar to you Mr. Bartle?) very reminiscent to the Nazi philosophy of the '30s, 40s, and mid '50s? In the end, where has all of this superiority led you people to? No where!
You people are still in the same dump and shit hole that you always were and have been for the last five decades!

Also, the present Bristish Labour government of Mr.
Tony Blair, under the cover of United Nations mandate, are striking at Afghanistan, and killing and slaughtering thousands of innocent Afgan civilians and Muslims. Millions of Afghan civilians have been killed in the last 2 decades, and if the British and US-led coalition has their way, they want to wipe out and eradicate Afghanistan from the map of this world. The ex-Soviet regime tried to do that, but they failed!
The past British governments have also tried these same tactics in the past, twice to do the same, but they too were brutally repressed by the indegenous Afghans people. My question to you is: When are you English and the British lot are going to stop practising your expansionist, imperilistic and racist policies around the world!

Mr. Bartle, I'm NOT "hiding" anywhere, you have my email address, and should you decide to respond to my email, then please, by all means go ahead and do just that!

I ignored that, so he sent another one on 15th November, 2001. This is what that one said:

Mr Bartle,

My, my, I thought that by drawing from your past mental character outbursts at UOE, that my last email would have evoked and at the least shaken-up some hidden, latent sentiments within the faculties of your mental mind, but it just turns out that you are nothing but a timid, feeble and a weak-minded mental character! Man, I could have never dreamt, that one day I would have you pinned to the floor so fast and so easy! So, then why the dichotomy in your mental character between then and now? Ah, ok, got it: it's your other half, I mean the REAL ONE who's wearing the pants in your house, is the one who's had you pinned to the floor for the last 24 odd years, has tammed at last tammed your barking! In that case, I'll take the liberty to state here in crystal clear term that: YOUR BARK IS LOUDER THAN YOUR BITE!

Richard, I don't intent to bother you any futher from now onwards, nor do I intent to write to any more in the future, now that I've found out that your other half has literally sapped all the required energy from within you! Good for her! Isn't there an English proverb that goes something like: you've finally met your match!!

I'll now leave you forever so that you can further the cause of manking on this Earth by furthering your affinity towards developing your stupid computer games over and above programming for ALEPH interpreter, BCPL progrmming, data structures, programming in LISP for AI project, or J2EE Java prograaming for that matter!!!


Bah. Some "I'll leave you forever" that turned out to be, he barely lasted 9 years...

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Copyright © 2010 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).