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6:41pm on Friday, 20th February, 2009:

Fruit Pudding


Actually, two anecdotes.

When I was a student, the main university restaurant was the Hexag0n (it's not a restaurant any more — gawd knows what they use it for these days). Occasionally, they would give students and other young people part-time work there, dishing out the food (or, to be absolutely correct about it, this being the Hex: "food").

On one occasion, they hired this girl that we'd seen around campus a lot, who was exceedingly recognisable because she was an original goth. She wore incredibly pale foundation cream on her face, with jet black stuff on and around her eyes — it was very striking. It was also very thick, and must have taken an age to apply. Her complexion looked perfect, like a china doll's. After an hour of dolloping out mashed potato kept warm by being in a tin standing in steaming hot water, however, she looked rather different... It was as if her face had melted, like that bit at the end of the first Indiana Jones movie — it was a fantastic sight, great rolling streams of grease dripping from her face and running down her neck. Plus, being students, we could laugh out loud at her plight without feeling any sense of guilt.

You don't get pride-before-a-fall people working in the Square 3 restaurant; things just aren't the same these days...

On another occasion, there was a new girl serving at the Hex's dessert counter. I went up to get mine, but I didn't know what was available. There was a sign, as always which read: FRUIT PUDDING. The only other thing it ever read was CHOCOLATE PUDDING. However, they did have quite a wide variety of fruit puddings — it could be a crumble, or a pie, or a tart, or a flan, or a cheesecake, and it could have been strawberry or raspberry or apricot or peach or apple or even rhubabrb. Not all of these possibilities were good, though: if it were a date pudding, or a bakewell tart, or they'd put alcohol in it, well, I wouldn't have got one.

So, what kind of pudding was it?

I asked:

Me: What's the fruit pudding?
Server (heavy French accent): It iz eur peuding ... wiz feuruit.
Me: Er, what kind of fruit?
Server: It iz ... red feuruit.

Red? So, strawberry, raspberry, I like those: OK, so I got it.

Turned out it was cherry — bleah!

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Copyright © 2009 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).