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1:10pm on Saturday, 17th October, 2009:

The Eye of the Beholder #6


Continuing the occasional series...

Angelina Jolie:

Angelina Jolie is a very famous and accomplished actress, who as well as being lauded for her acting ability is also regularly praised for her beauty.

It's the lips.

Now the lips are what many people seem to think are Angelina's best feature, but for me they're quite the opposite. They drag my eyes where they don't want to go. When she's smiling, and her lips are stretched, OK, well then I can see the rest of her face and agree with the assessment that she looks beautiful:

It's just that she rarely does seem to smile in public. Most of her poses involve closed lips, presumably on the grounds that this is what people like to see. I'm sure they do, too, I'm just not among them.

I'm not against voluptuous lips per se — Marilyn Monroe was famous for her lips, but they didn't dominate her face like Angelina Jolie's do hers. Also, Angelina's seem sort of flat. I have an ongoing disagreement with my wife over Liv Tyler, whom I think looks stunning but my wife doesn't "because she has big lips". It's not big lips I don't like, it's just the way Angelina Jolie's sit on her face.

It's not her fault, either — she didn't go out and get collagen injections or anything. Those are her natural lips, as this photograph of her at age 13 shows:

It's like there was some kind of mistake in the baby factory and the wrong consignment of lips arrived. She's got ones that should have been delivered to someone with a more sloping face.

It's not that I think Angelina Jolie is ugly, of course — and as I said, when she smiles she really does look beautiful in the eyes of this beholder. Then, of course, there's the whole deal from the neck down, which is a massive argument in favour of her attractiveness. Unfortunately, though, those enormous lips completely spoil the effect.

Yet millions of fans disagree.

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Copyright © 2009 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).