The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.

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3:36pm on Friday, 15th June, 2007:



As I've mentioned before in QBlog, I'm an avid fan of Tim Tams, an Australian rip-off of Penguins that are far, far better than the original.

Today, QBlog stalwart Glenn Broadway told me about the Tim Tam Slam. Apparently, Tim Tams are so popular in their native land that there's an entire subculture concerned with ways to eat them, and the Tim Tam Slam is one of the pinnacles of the resulting cuisine. You bite off opposite corners of a Tim Tam, put one end in a hot drink and the other in your mouth, then you suck until you feel the biscuit collapsing, whereupon you devour the whole lot before it implodes into your cup.

OK, so I had to try that out...

I knew it was going to be messy because the chocolate on the outside of the biscuit melts quickly just from holding it. Had I known before I started that the biscuit was going to dissolve to the extent that the chocolate on the outside was the only thing holding it together, I might have chickened out. Still, I didn't, so I bit off the opposite corners, stuck one end in my mug of Darjeeling, and sucked. I sucked for about 2 seconds then it was as if I was holding a sponge. The entire inside just mushed in my fingers — I had about 200ms to get it into my mouth before it would have sploshed into my drink.

When I did get it into my mouth, though, it tasted ... well, just like a warm Tim Tam, to be honest. OK, so perhaps Darjeeling wasn't the best hot drink to use, but at least I have the technique down. Next time, I'll use coffee.

If a 2-second wait is too long for you, try a Fox's Butter Crinkle Crunch. I once watched my dad dunk of one of those in a cup of tea, then immediately lift it up to eat only to find he had just half a biscuit. The other half had come off in the split-second in which it was in contact with the tea. Amazing! Experimentation has since revealed that to dunk one successfully, you have to rotate it through the tea so it always has a force behind it to beat gravity; you end up holding it wet-half uppermost. This means the tea it has absorbed is picked up by the dry half, giving you just enough time to get it into your mouth before it sags to oblivion.

Don't say you never learn anything from blogs...

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Copyright © 2007 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).