The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.
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8:23am on Sunday, 22nd March, 2026:
Anecdote
I was awoken yesterday morning at about 6:15am by the chirping of a smoke detector that is running out of battery.
I could have got up and shut it off, but this particular smoke detector is in a really awkward position above the stairs, so I thought I'd sleep through it and fix it later. I judged that my attempts to shut it off would be more of a disturbance to the other three adults in the house than a chirp every minute or so would be (the time between chirps varied). This is because when I replace a battery in the smoke detector, it gives off a shrill, piercing, full-on beep that's so loud it would disturb anyone within twenty metres (except, perhaps, my wife if she was reading a book at the time).
Anyway, an hour later I got up, fetched a chair and removed the batteries. I didn't replace them, because of the aforementioned shrill, piercing, full-on beep it would give off.
The chirping continued.
My wife, who had been roused by my attempts to extract the batteries, suggested that it wasn't this smoke detector that was at fault, but the one on the ground floor below it.
This one is even more annoying, because it needs a screwdriver to get it out and to access the batteries. I could get it off by standing on the stairs, though, so armed with my electrical screwdriver I had a go at it. I took it into the garage to dismantle, so its chirping wouldn't disturb anyone.
I emerged back into the house proper and the chirping continued.
It was at this point that my wife reminded me that I had a smoke detector in the office where all my computer equipment is permanently pluggedin.
Another chair, another struggle with a battery, and the chirping finally stopped.
Once everyone was up (which was a lot earlier than usual for some reason), I replaced the two AAA batteries in the hallway's smoke detector, the 9v battery in the office smoke detector, and the two 9v batteries in the upstairs smoke detector, which needs two because it doubles as a carbon-monoxide detector.
It gave off a shrill, piercing, full-on beep. Furthermore, it did it twice, once for each battery. The noise was so loud that it hurt my ear, and I can still feel a dull pain there this morning as it heals.
Why do these smoke detector batteries always fail when I'm asleep? Why can't they fail when I'm awake?
Hmm, instead of saying that the smoke detector chirped, I should have said that it cheeped. Then, I could have said that three 9v batteries and two AAA batteries aren't "cheap", and so finished with aplomb.
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Copyright © 2026 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).