The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.
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8:29am on Sunday, 17th May, 2026:
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Yesterday was the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest.
As usual, we watched it. As usual, the UK came last. The winners, Bulgaria, got a mere 516 times more points than we did.
There were some real stinkers this year, but they all got more points than our song managed. Ours wasn't ever going to win, but it was significantly better than some of those out there. If any other country had entered our song (with the possible exception of Germany), they would have scored respectably higher. If we had entered any other country's song (including Bulgaria's), we would still have come last.
However, given that we expect to come last, this isn't actually painful for us. Hey, we're plucky!
I did learn something interesting (to me at least) about the UK's performer, Look Mum No Computer. This is the stage name of Sam Battle — but Sam Battle is in turn a stage name. I had heard that he started to use it when someone misheard his actual surname and put it on the venue's billing, but I didn't hear what it should have said.
It turns out that his surname is Bartle. His sister, Jodie Bartle, is a professional footballer who captains Wrexham.
It's conceivable that we're distantly related, because their family comes from Lincolnshire, which is where my line of the Bartle diaspora originated. The furthest I can get back is my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather John Bartle, who was the father of my great-great-great-great-grandfather, also called John Bartle; the latter was baptised 24 Feb 1719 in Kirton-in-Lindsey.
Sadly, knowledge of this genealogical connection to me came too late for the citizens of Europe to take pity on our Eurovision entrant.
I wonder how much Dua Lipa would want paying to perform our 2027 entry.
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Copyright © 2026 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).