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3:01pm on Sunday, 12th October, 2014:
Here's how the UK's main political parties are trying to woo voters with their statements on immigration:
Labour: "We're as racist as you are."
Conservatives: "You're as racist as we are."
Liberal Democrats: "Some of our best friends are racist."
SNP: "We're racist in a particularly Scottish way."
Greens: "We're going to let more racists into Britain"
UKIP: "The rest of the world is racist against Britain."
Hmm, I may be being a little cynical there.
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