The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.

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10:05pm on Saturday, 30th May, 2009:

Bridal Shower


I was at a wedding today! My wife's brother's son (er, so that would be my nephew) got married. I had a front row seat in the church on account of how I'd brought the groom's grandfather with me, so I had a ringside view of the proceedings. When the vows were exchanged, the bride looked so happy I knew there and then that this was the Real Thing.

I don't know what the groom looked like because there was a pillar in the way.

Part-way through the reception afterwards, my wife took hold of a 2-litre bottle of sparkling water and attempted to open it. Weak and puny that she is, she couldn't get it open. "This needs opening" she said, passing it to me.

OK, so you know the rings on Saturn? They resemble the pattern of the spray that exploded from the bottle as soon as I cracked the seal. It was a perfect disc, like the blade of a circular saw, shooting out equally in all directions. It was very impressive for the split second it took me to screw the cap back on, during which time my shirt and entire left arm were drenched.

Naturally, my wife screeched with alarm as some of the water got on her dress, which caused the entire room to stop and stare at us, then applaud.

Augh! Why me? Why did I have to open our bottle before anyone else opened theirs? Augh! It took an hour to dry off!

Oh well, I felt better after three helpings of dessert.

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Copyright © 2009 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).