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12:47pm on Saturday, 8th July, 2006:

News from Colchester


I know it's a soft target, but it's as if the Essex County Standard is made for mocking.

Here's the beginning of an article from this week's news-packed edition:

Adding 18 more cars to Colchester's streets will lead to "town centre chaos", will it? It must be just enough to tip the scales... Either that or we timeslipped to 1894 and I didn't notice.

Why, it's almost as if the taxi drivers don't want the extra competition and are looking for any excuse they can find to shut newcomers out.

Here's the beginning of another article:

If an increase to 8 pick-pocketing incidents in a month is a "spree", how many pick-pocketing incidents are there normally? I almost blocked out the word "eight" there and invited people to guess what the number might be. In a town the size of Colchester (104,390 — England's 54th-biggest population centre), eight pick-pocketing incidents in a month doesn't seem all that bad.

Still, there's nothing like fomenting fear among the population to sell newspapers.

Maybe they should just publish it fortnightly, so there's more actual news to put in it.

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Copyright © 2006 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).