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1:39pm on Sunday, 25th September, 2005:



My mother doesn't like Marmite. Her father used to eat it, and she used to eat it, too, but her mother wouldn't eat it. One day, she asked my grandmother why she didn't eat it, and was furnished with a reply that put her off it for the rest of her life.

The reply was: "You can smell the bullock".

If she'd said bull, rather than bullock, it maybe wouldn't have been so bad, but she didn't: she said bullock. This extra degree of specificity conjured up in my mother's mind an image so alarming that she has been unable to go near Marmite ever since. You can smell the bullock!

Marmite is, of course, made of yeast extract and contains no meat products whatsoever. Vegetarians (or at least those vegetarians who don't feel sorry for yeast) can eat it. My grandmother's belief that it was made from cattle was completely unsubstantiated.

That's irrelevant to my mother, though. She can still smell the bullock...

Referenced by Guitar Music.

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Copyright © 2005 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).