The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.

4:10pm on Friday, 8th April, 2005:

Desperate Headlines


It must be tough being a journalist on a provincial newspaper. Nearly every article you write has to have a pun in the headline — it must take hours (or a book of puns) to think them up.

Here are the headlines for some articles on page 3 of today's Essex County Standard:

Bus users count on new survey
Colchester Bus Users' Group has been "counting" how many people use the Queen Street bus depot, and they're "counting" on their figures' being effective in their bid to stop the relocation of the bus station to nearby Osborne Street.

Pupils go back to the future
A local school held its Victorian costume day (the "back") while celebrating the recent expansion of its music and IT facilities (the "future").

MPs rail against poor train service
Two local MPs will campaign for One to lose its franchise if it doesn't improve its services within 8 months. They're "railing" against a "railway" company.

Of course, not every headline is a pun. Some subjects are simply too serious to merit such treatment. Unfortunately, when you come across one of these having just read a series of jovial puns, you can get unfortunate accidents. The following is from the final article on page 3 of today's Essex County Standard:

Trust cuts vasectomy funding.

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Copyright © 2005 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).