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11:20am on Saturday, 16th January, 2016:

Signing Off


When I tried to pay with my card in Sainsbury's this morning, the pay-and-go machine got into a tizzy and couldn't read it. Eventually it settled in a state where it told me to swipe my card.

OK, well the card only has a few months before it expires, so maybe the chip has gone or something. I therefore swiped the card as instructed.

Immediately, an attendant was summoned. Swiping the card requires a signature check.

Unfortunately, as my card is so old, the signature on the back had pretty well rubbed off. With the attendant watching, I tried to write my signature back on it but my pen wouldn't leave a mark. I tried to use her pen but had no more success. She couldn't approve the transaction unless my signature on the card matched the one I was about to make on the payment instruction, though.

After a few more seconds of fruitless trying, I pointed out to her that she was watching me trying to sign my card whereupon I would immediately sign her payment form. I could have written Donald Duck on both of them and the signatures would have matched — she could see me doing them both. Of course the signatures were going to match!

She relented and let me sign her form without having a signature to check it against.

Next time I steal a credit card, all I have to do is sandpaper off the signature and put oil on the strip where it goes then I'm set.

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Copyright © 2016 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).