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9:47am on Tuesday, 12th July, 2011:

Message from the Vice Chancellor


Every month, the Vice Chancellor of Essex University sends all members of staff an email outlining the ... well gawd knows, actually, as they're so long and densely-written that they could include the words "a million quid to the first person who reads this" and no-one would claim it.

Today, though, we got an email that's actually readable. I was expecting it to be about Essex's bid to be one of the universities that charges £9,000 a year for all its courses, but it wasn't (because then it wouldn't have been readable). Here's the beginning:

Dear colleague

I am writing to let you know that I will be leaving the University of Essex at the end of August 2012 to take up the position of Vice-Chancellor at Cardiff University.

It has another four paragraphs, all equally short and easy to read. Maybe he's realised that if he sends two-page emails consisting of one paragraph to the people at Cardiff University, Torchwood will run scans on him looking for alien life forms.

Hmm, I thought there was something weird last month when the Department was looked over by the VC's obvious successor (he'd get my vote, anyway) for no apparent reason.

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Copyright © 2011 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).