The everyday blog of Richard Bartle.

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12:45am on Friday, 28th October, 2005:



This is costing me $9.95 from my credit card to post, so I hope you feel suitably grateful...

One thing that always screws me up when I visit the USA is the food. I have trouble buying it (I never quite get the rules of engagement right in restaurants), but the food itself is invariably not what I expected. This morning, I ordered eggs benedict for breakfast and yes, I got eggs benedict, but they came with potatoes and a strawberry. Food in America is Different.

I'm particularly bad with sandwiches. Sandwiches in America come with meat at least an inch thick with the fat not having been removed. They have a salad in them, plus dressing, plus other odd things like walnuts or fried mushrooms. You never know what you're going to get. The worst for me is if they have dill pickle inside — I just can't eat anything has contains, or has ever contained, dill pickle.

OK, so today it's lunchtime in the convention centre. I've been persuaded that there is free food in the speaker's lounge so have not gone to a restaurant, but I find that other speakers have eaten all the food in the speaker's lounge by the time I get there except for some rock solid cinnamon buns. I therefore have to buy a sandwich.

The sandwich concession has three types of sandwich: turkey, ham and beef. These have the names American, Norwegian and London. I query as to what's inside the one with ham.
"It's just a roll, with ham and lettuce."
"No pickle?"
"No pickle. It's just a roll with ham and lettuce."
"That's all?"
"Ham and lettuce, that's all."

OK, so I bought the Norwegian roll, which did indeed consist of a roll containing ham (an inch thick) and lettuce. And mustard. Really, very strong mustard, with mustard seeds in it for extra grenade-power burning moments.

All I wanted was a ham sandwich! Why do they have to add extra ingredients? The more they add, the more chance there is someone's not going to like some of it. I had to drink a 16oz cup of coffee just to put the fire out.

Tomorrow, I'm going to fill myself up on the free sweets they have at the various stands in the exhibition hall. They do glow-in-the-dark starbursts there.

Referenced by Unjust Desserts.

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Copyright © 2005 Richard Bartle (richard@mud.co.uk).